We devote a lot of our time on applicant.com defending the integrity of online education, and for good reason. But there are some courses available online that make our job a bit more difficult. To some, these classes might be indispensable fonts of practical wisdom, but to the mainstream they seem more like the online version of underwater basket weaving. And just for fun, we threw in one completely fictional online course—you’ll have to follow the links to find out for sure (click on sub titles to visit the link).
- Clutter Control Made Easy
If you haven’t figured out how the circular file works, this online course will show you just how to keep the piles of useless crap from overtaking your work space. It’s one course where throwing away your homework might actually help.
- Helicopter Pilot Refresher Course
Are your chopper skills getting a little rusty? Don’t worry. You don’t even need to leave the house (or step onto a heli-pad) to get yourself re-certified. With a few clicks, you’ll be well on your way to piloting rotor aircraft with the best of them.
- Online Singing Courses
Are crowds of wildly screaming people running every time you sing—running away, that is? Don’t worry. You don’t have to find anyone willing to actually listen to your voice. You can get your voice coaching done online. It’s a gift to everyone involved!
- Bridal Consulting
Bridezilla fan? Can’t wait to get in on the action? Well you can become an expert in wedding etiquette, proper attire, and how to plan a honeymoon in this quick, easy online training program. Here comes the degree!
- Advanced Tic-Tac-Toe Strategies
Any kid can play tic-tac-toe, but are you tired of getting beat by little kids when you play? Worry no more. You can dominate your office tic-tac-toe tournaments after earning your CEU certification in the advanced strategies passed down from the Far East and refined through computer-driven logarithms.
- Planetary Herbology
Vaccines and pills are for the corrupt doctors of Big Pharma. If you’re interested in exploring a career in alternative medicine, look no further than this helpful, mind-blowing course in herbology. Who wants to spend eight years learning to be a doctor, when you can do it online in a matter of months?
- Critical Television Viewing
Watching television is lazy? Not anymore! If you are done watching programs as a passive couch potato, this online course will show you how to take in the boob tube with a critical eye for thematic structure, political messaging, and psychological influence.
- Constipation Relief
What’s the best way to loosen things up in your biological outbox? You want to take the guesswork out of that situation . . . believe me. And you also don’t want to be trapped behind a desk in a classroom when you, uh, figure things out. If ever there was a course you simply must take online (or otherwise at a distance) this is the one.
- Defensive Driving
There’s just no reason driver education should be done on the road. What a waste of gas and a needless pollutant for the environment. You can learn to stop on red and go green all in one easy course.
- Gift Basket Design
Advanced Calculus you’ve figured out. Business management was a breeze. Astrophysics was so easy it made your brain go numb. But if you want to square off against the toughest course academia has to offer, you need to face the gift basket. Lost in the wicker and cellophane is an art form you aren’t prepared to deal with in person. Online, you just might be able to handle it.
- Dream Interpretation
- If you really do show up for class with no clothes on, you’re going to want that to be an online course.
- If it turns out to be a dream, it will help immensely to know what that dream really means.
- Might as well earn 3 college credits on the way.
So there they are, 11 legitimate, certified courses you can take online—hard to believe only one of them was made up. Have you come across anything more bizarre in an online course?